Trapped in my head....

i saw you...at least i thought i saw you. It's been awhile...5 years to be exact. And now i can't get you out of my head. Why are you here? And how long? Whats' your plan of action or do you even have one? Probably not. I don't want to see you. I want you out of my head. It took me long enough to get you out and now your back. At the worst possible time even...you always had great timing...But i want to talk to you and tell you how i feel. If you care...because it hasn't been easy that's for sure. You have no idea. I don't even know anymore...all i know is that you've ruined it...and it's going to be a long journey from here....again.

To you...

How can i get along with everyone else but you? i can be nice...sometimes...but never to you. Although you don't seem to make an attempt to do the same for me. Why? I try to please you maybe because im seeking your respect and friendship. But why? You don't care...or do you? I can't figure you out. And you get along with the rest of us but not me. I used to yearn for your attention and now im done. I don't want it. And all of a sudden your giving it out like candy. Well it's fine cause you'll just take it back like you did before. I've known you for years...well not really... do i really know you? i wish...

Simple...

I dont care...it's that simple. Why i tried to please you i don't even know. At first i thought i was at fault but now i've found it's you. For making me feel like crap cause you weren't man enough to take the blame. Or simply just because your way too paranoid. Instead of talking about it with me you tell everyone else but to the only person that it would pertain to. Do you know how this made me feel? And don't give me that same old shit "Your always too busy!" when really it's you don't know. You act like your the only one hurting but you wouldn't even know. When your where i am maybe you'll understand. But i guess since this is all "my" fault i deserve it... I thought we were great friends but i guess not cause now that i think about it when were you there for me?...cause you certainly arent here now. And i know i haven't always been there for you so your right... maybe it was a fairtyale. I hate this...a possible loss of a fairytale friend.


I'm Sorry.

I wish I could explain...

Why is it so easy to hurt the people you love?Why do we do it?Is it because we know that they'll end up forgiving us? That could be it...Why would anyone do this. At the moment i'm full of questions that probably won't be answered for awhile. Until something deep inside gets loose and stops haunting me. Maybe i'll just give in and accept all blame...than it will go away...but than i wonder do i deserve all blame...?I thought i was innocent but am i?
I wish i could expain....

Beautiful People

old friends... i miss them. lately i've talked to them but it's weird. I remember what we used to do...way back when. Things i told them and they told me. I forget they know. They seem to know it all. That comfort i felt before ...telling them everything... still exists. I want to spill it all. But it's been weeks, months, almost years. Why do i want to tell them everything? Don't get me wrong i'm glad we're getting close again... but why? It's such a weird feeling... i don't get it. Hopefully i'll figure it out...maybe they just are beautiful people:D

Lucky...

How can you go from two people you completely trust to seven?... I guess i don't know if i should but why shouldn't i? as of now all is well. Some of these people i could walk with for miles... and some i could just sit with them til 4 or 5 in the morning. When did i get so lucky?

Baby Face...

Pictures... i absolutely positively hate hate hate hate hate taking pictures!...anyone who knows me knows this. But to be honest i love it...months later. If you were born photogenic than you probably don't understand... It's just crazy to see how much we've all changed over time. and remembering the incredible moments that took place. i definitely don't want to forget those memories. Im gonna have to say it's in my top 3 greatest inventions!